take a solo trip (the #DanasAmazingRace blog)

A few months ago, I went on an Amazing Race binge via Netflix. After a few seasons, it got pretty repetitive, but its impression had already been made on my Play-Doh mind. I was simply enamored with the diversity of places the contestants traveled to, and the rate at which they zoomed from place to place. They literally would be in Thailand on a Tuesday and South Africa on a Wednesday. Well, my passport is currently expired, and international airfare can be a real bitch on the credit card, so I decided to plan my own, smaller-scale [just-as-]Amazing Race. And the only thing I'd actually be racing is my time off from work (10 puny but awesome days).

The map of my journey, more or less (though I don't think I actually flew over Canada or Mexico).

My trip kicked off in Atlanta, where I stayed with my friend Drew. The Megabus from DC to Atlanta is only $25, so I decided to give it a shot (against Drew's warnings). I'd traveled to Knoxville on the Megabus before, and I didn't think it would be so bad. It was actually one of the hardest trips I've made in my life. We departed at 9 A.M. and arrived close to 11 P.M. It was not comfortable at all. When I got to the bus station in the A, it reminded me of D.C. a lot in terms of atmosphere and clientele ("How you doing miss?" as soon as I stepped off the bus). Drew's apartment was nice, and it was upsetting (I guess) to hear about the rent prices down there (you know, with D.C. being one of the most expensive places to live in the U.S.).

Drew and I in a cute semi-outdoor restaurant in Atlanta.

The day I arrived was a Sunday, and nothing (not even Magic City, which I didn't get to visit) was open past midnight that day. Atlanta is a weird place. I kept forgetting I was in the South. Everyone I met was super duper nice, and I got my meals and drinks paid for (in a friendly way, of course) several times. The hospitality was popping. My time in Atlanta was pretty chill—the only major place in the city I visited was Piedmont Park, which is sprawling horizons of green against the contrast of the city skyline. It was gorgeous, and it's where I saw my first hummingbird.

I left Atlanta on Tuesday morning and flew to Los Angeles. I've been to L.A. twice before so I wasn't necessarily in awe. But don't get me wrong, southern California is beautiful and one of my absolute favorite places to travel to. I love the palm trees and bad attitudes. This was the first time I visited LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) and saw all the things my Instagram community posts when they go to Cali.

Me in front of Instagrammy stuff at LACMA.

I also visited the Griffith Observatory for the first time, which is simply awesome. The views there can't be beat. The next day, we drove about 45 minutes to Manhattan Beach, which my friend Maya suggested. She was so spot-on when she said that this is the best beach in SoCal. It's clean, fancy, and fun (the trifecta of a wholesome beach experience). Usually, I don't submerge myself into the ocean—but I guess that's because the Pacific Ocean totally shits on the Atlantic, which I'm far more used to visiting. The water was actually blue, and I wasn't worried about condoms and jellyfish crawling up my anus.

On Wednesday night, I went to the restaurant with the most stars and dollar signs Yelp could give a place, which turned out to be Ink on Melrose Avenue. I would have taken pictures of the food if it didn't make me look like a broke bitch on a cheap vacation. Each plate was absolutely spectacular (in presentation and in taste). My friend and I had oysters, smoked trout, wild salmon circles, squid with ink shell pasta, and fried chicken oatmeal (with some cute lavender flowers as garnish, what the hell?). According to my friend, it was the most interesting meal he's ever had, and I might have to agree.

Me on one of the hiking trails at Griffith Observatory Park.

The super stupid view from Griffith in Los Angeles. 

My friend Maya and I at Manhattan Beach (before we got all the way in).

On Thursday afternoon/evening I flew to Seattle. This was definitely my favorite place overall. Seattle is fucking quirky and eclectic, though I hear all the areas in Washington outside of it are not. The scenery was amazing, everything from Mt. Rainier to the many lakes to random sunflowers and cherry tomatoes growing along the sidewalks. My friend even had the most delicious wild blackberries growing all throughout her backyard. The most important part, obviously, is that weed is legal in Washington. Well, it's kind of hard to explain, because it's not like anyone can just stroll up into a dispensary and purchase weed. But, if you do have weed, feel free to smoke it in a park or walking down the street or in your house or whatever. I saw a couple asleep in a park next to the world's tallest bong. I also saw some homeless guy shooting up, but that's neither here nor there.

In Seattle, I visited a couple of beaches and parks, some great art museums (Frye and SAM), and a brilliant little place called Taco Time. Yum. This was the one part of my trip where I rented a car, and it certainly came in handy, but in Seattle, I feel like you can walk in a very small square distance and still have plenty to do and see. 

Just one example of pure Seattle gorgeousness.

An "abandoned" soda machine that is somehow always stocked, and you can only press the "Mystery" button. I got a Black Cherry Fresca.

I left Seattle on Saturday night, and flew a redeye (did I use that right?) to JFK Airport in grand old New York City. NYC is another one of those places I've been to a couple of times before, but I'm far from being a "New York person." As I remembered, it carried a strong odor of urine pretty much everywhere throughout the city, but there are plenty of aspects of NYC that make up for that. For starters, look at the train system. You can get anywhere on the train, and if you can't, you shouldn't be going there. Also, NYC is the definition of diversity. Seattle and L.A. are both diverse places, but to a much lower degree. Walking on the streets in NYC can feel like a zombie apocalypse. It's really bizarre if you really just stop to take it in (like I obviously did). 

NYC was like Atlanta in that I mostly just chilled. I hung out with friends, smoked, grabbed drinks at some dirty hipster bar in Williamsburg, got some Grimaldi's pizza (best ever), and read a book in a park. Nothing scarily exciting, but it was nice to be absolutely unnoticeable. There are way too many people in New York to ever get noticed unless you're trying to be. And I'm not. 

View from Brooklyn Bridge Park.

So, I took the bus home, and had to work the very next day. Absolutely no time to revel in my travels. But it's okay, because although the trip was only 10 days long, it felt much longer. I enjoyed being by myself in cities full of strangers, while still having friends and loved ones within my reach. I realized the importance of traveling alone, and traveling frequently. Travel isn't the same when you are compromising your itinerary to find a balance between your interests and another person's. We may not be able to do it all the time, but I know that whenever I have the opportunity, I'll explore another place for a day or two. It helps me grow in the most human way possible.

For the visual learners, here's a chart: 

And finally, here are a few tips for planning a solo trip!

1. As much as possible, try to venture somewhere where you know at least one person. I knew someone in each city I visited, which helped to save on hotel costs, and also provided an optional tour guide for each place. Being with someone who knows the area is obviously an advantage. If you don't know anyone, air bnb is always a great resource.

2. Don't look like you're lost. I know you have to look around a lot when you don't know where you are, but a look of panic on your face can't be a great thing. I found that there are people willing to help you out with directions no matter where you go, but I think it's still semi-important (if only for your pride's sake) to appear competent and traveled.

3. Minimize baggage. I brought just one duffel bag and a small Jansport bookbag with me on my trip. I repeated clothes frequently. And if I could do it again, I may have avoided bringing my laptop. You never know when you'll have to walk or travel long distances with your stuff, especially if it's in a place you're totally unfamiliar with. Less baggage, easier travel. Stick with the necessities instead of worrying about having enough deodorant or a pair of shoes for every outfit.

4. Always carry a book, your phone, headphones, a charger, and if possible, a Mophie too (for iPhone users). I'm not a real hippie, I depend on my phone too much. Maps is a lifesaver. And you don't want to worry about a dying phone when you're trying to meet up with someone or get somewhere on time. And for idle times like at the airport gate or waiting for your friend to get off work and take you to the bar, nothing beats a good book (I was reading Catcher In The Rye during this trip).

5. Fly JetBlue if you can! It's just really nice.

Happy travels!

ladies, consider eco-friendly menstrual products (the diva cup blog)

I first heard about the Diva Cup from an advertisement in Missbehave Magazine (R.I.P.) circa 2008. It was my absolute favorite magazine because it sort of appealed to the non-pristine, off-the-cuff, quirky and stylish young lady. Therefore, after looking into Diva Cup a bit more, it seemed pretty noble.

That was six years ago, and I only just purchased my first Diva Cup this month from Whole Foods. It was $28.99 (on sale from $36.99) and comes in two sizes - 1 and 2. I purchased 1, which is for women under 30 and/or who have never given birth vaginally. Size 2 is for the rest of the women. I think now is a good time for this disclaimer: I am squeamish about period-related things, and I'm still not even 100% comfortable with tampon use. I definitely am not comfortable with Pap smears, either. That being said, the Diva Cup (despite its cute "Size 1" label) is pretty big. It is a thick yet flexible silicone cup with a rim. It hold up to 2 oz. of your menstrual business (which is ample, compared to the average daily amount), and should be emptied at least twice a day. You can rinse and reuse the cup, too (compared to other products I've seen which are single-use only).

There are two ways you can insert the Diva Cup, and they are demonstrated on the box (and in the included instructions). One involves folding the cup into a U-shape, while the other involves tucking part of the cup down into kind of a conch shell shape. I opted for the U—and I just couldn't do it. I chalked this up to being either nervous or tense, and tried again the next day. Honestly, it just didn't feel comfortable. It was like trying to insert a hard, wadded up piece of plastic trash. I'm simply too spoiled by thin, smooth, plastic tampon applicators. I can't even use the cardboard ones. Getting the Diva Cup in is kind of like inserting 2, 3, maybe even 4 tampons simultaneously. It's even, in my twisted mind, like trying to give yourself a Pap—foreign objects down there are just off-putting to me, and I am a bit mad I didn't acknowledge this self-truth before purchasing the Cup. I could have tried harder, but I gave in to my uncertainty about what I would do when it came time to take it out. I am not brave. For the remainder of my period, I stuck with my trusty tamps and winged pads.

However, I know that there are women who may read this, who are may be interested in trying this (or similar) products and are not as weak as I am. The Diva Cup seems to have the potential for great convenience, once you've gotten down the in-and-out process. It comes with a satchel to hold the cup in while it is not in use, and the brand also sells a Diva Cup wash to clean the product (otherwise, you can use unscented soap and warm water). Think about the money spent and trash created, just from you, every year due to pesky menstrual cycles. The average woman throws away almost 300 pounds of menstrual cycle related garbage in her lifetime. So, if you are up to the challenge of transitioning from plastic applicators to a silicone cup, I'd urge you to try. And if you're like me? What are other eco-friendly options that won't challenge your squeamishness?

Consider a reusable pad, such as Lunapad. This may be a bit more "gross," but if you are concerned about the environmental impact of menstrual product waste, this is a viable alternative. Lunapads come in cute designs but will run a little steep for a complete set (i.e. ~$80 for a pack of 7).

Opt for traditional pads and tampons made of organic cotton. The majority of products out now are a rayon-cotton blend, and harsh chemicals can be used in the production of rayon. Better for you, better for the environment.

It's a hard move, especially when young ladies are conditioned to live in a type of society that dotes on the "one time use" convenience factor (think: paper towels). But, if you can make the move (whether it's the big one or a smaller one), you should.

save your loose change

Has anyone ever seen someone throw away pennies? I HAVE! And I don't mean that in the sense of simply wasting extra money. I mean that I have seen people physically throwing pennies in the trash. Granted, I've heard the arguments that pennies should be done away with already, but while they're still here, why not save them?

The smartest thing to do is to invest in paper penny rolls, but at the very least, keep a loose change jar. I have a bag of paper coin rolls for every denomination, and I save up all of my change until it's ample enough to warrant a bank deposit (and no, it's not weird or embarrassing to hand a bank teller multiple rolls of coins). Right now, I have almost $50 of loose change all rolled up. One side perk is that when I have to do laundry, I've already got a roll of quarters on hand. And I have my "worthless" pennies neatly stacked into 50 cent rolls, ready to become "real" money.

If coin rolls are too much work, the loose change jar suffices. Some banks have free coin deposit machines for their customers, but if yours doesn't, there's always Coinstar (although the cost of this convenience is 9% of your coins). If all else fails and you are too lazy to do any of the aforementioned things, just drop your loose change on the sidewalk. Someone will pick it up.

send snail mail

I guess sending letters or cards through the mail is really either a grandmother or a hipster thing. I don't consider myself to be either, but I still can attest to the joy and wonder of sending and receiving snail mail.

Though the post office has sliding towards obsoleteness, it is still very much a complex network of communication technology. I can drop off a card with a pressed cherry blossom bud inside, and have it in my Seattle friend's hand in two days. What an improvement on the way mail used to work (read: guys on horseback). E-mail and other online modes of communication are obviously more convenient, but until you look forward to opening your mailbox because you know it won't be just bills and Pennysavers, you'll never understand. There is something incredibly special about handwritten, hand-delivered mail. It seems like our iPhones have made it impractical to communicate on a non-immediate basis—but every now and then, a little personalized care and effort can trump instant gratification.

When I was little, I had several pen pals. I found them from organizations like International Pen Friends, and also from American Girl magazine. These days, people are too well-connected (and also paranoid) to participate in those type of things in mass numbers. Making friends over the Internet is so commonplace these days, but sending those people physical mail is somehow weird.

One awesome thing I came across recently is reddit's Arbitrary Day—it's a worldwide "Secret Santa" exchange that isn't on Christmas. They call it "that time of year where we send each other gifts for no reason other than it makes us all happy!" You sign up (by May 26), write about your likes and dislikes,  get matched up with someone who will buy you a gift, and also be matched up with someone for whom you buy a gift. You can choose to be matched with someone in your country, or open yourself to international matching (which, though more costly in shipping, would probably yield more interesting gifts). The site recommends that you spend about $20 on your gift, but it's less about the cost, and more about the creativity and thoughtfulness. To me, it's also about utilizing the vast communicative technologies available to us and humanizing things. I can't wait to start gifting!

Check out some of the gifts that were exchanged on Arbitrary Day 2013!

be sure to buy non-toxic candles

If you wouldn't light a huge cigarette and set it on a fancy ceramic tray in your living room to burn for an hour—don't buy a cheap, mysterious candle. Before I gave it some critical thought (and research), I was certainly guilty of buying cheap candles, lighting them around my room and probably breathing in oodles of disaster. As a rule of thumb, if a candle does not specifically and transparently state the benevolence of the ingredients used, avoid buying it.

Many cheap store-bought candles contain paraffin, a petroleum byproduct, which releases toxic carcinogens when burned. Instead, look for candles that are made of 100 percent beeswax, or a vegetable-based wax. Be sure that the candles are not a beeswax-paraffin blend, for example, because some candle manufacturers will add the latter to cut down costs. Currently, there is no ban (or plans for a ban) on candles containing paraffin. Burning these candles, however, can cause respiratory problems, and even damage to the inside of your house.

Also, be sure to buy candles that have all-cotton wicks. Some cheaper candles will use small metal fibers in the wicks to keep them standing straight. Many candle companies used to use lead in their wicks, a practice that was banned in 2003. Additionally, it is recommended that you keep all candle wicks trimmed down to approximately 1/4".

One brand of candle I recently discovered (and like very much) is Stella Mare. They are soy candles handcrafted in Portland and are pretty reasonably priced for the quality. They also seem to last for a pretty long time! I'm no candle fanatic, but there definitely is a deep level of peace and relaxation associated with a great-smelling candle that doesn't pollute your body or your home. There are plenty of options for purchasing non-toxic candles, it's just up to us to do our due diligence as consumers. 

contest all speed camera tickets

I've been a car owner for a little more than a year now. In that time, I've had the pleasure of receiving seven speed camera tickets in the mail, five of which were $100 and two which were $40. That's $580 that the average person would have just paid, or even ignored (which leads to even more absurd consequences, like license suspension). I contested six, and five were dismissed (the seventh was recent, and I have yet to respond).

It is important to note that the five dismissed tickets were the $100 tickets, received in Washington, D.C., which explicitly provide you with the option of mailing in an appeal letter—something explaining why you are not at fault or why your fine should be lessened. By the fourth or fifth ticket, I had come across this article, written by a guy who composed a great speed camera ticket appeal letter and got his tickets dismissed. Essentially, it is the burden of the state to prove that you broke a law (i.e. speeding), and a photo of your car speeding isn't enough. It's not your responsibility to incriminate yourself (i.e. "I was speeding but I was in a rush to get to work") or anyone else ("My brother John Smith was driving my car at the time"). Read the article, his letter pretty much covers all legal bases. Truthfully, for my first few tickets that were dismissed, I said something to the likes of "$100 is a lot, and I was on my way to work where I only earned $80 that day." It seems to me that D.C. will cut you a break if you just put some effort into seeking one. At the very least, if your ticket is not dismissed, you can at least delay having to pay it for a few months (because $100 is a pretty big burden for many people to pay on short notice!).

The one ticket that wasn't immediately dismissed (and by "immediately" I mean after 4-6 months of waiting for a plain white postcard in the mail) was issued to me from Prince George's County (Maryland). On these tickets, your options are to 1) pay the fine (thus admitting guilt) or 2) request a court date. After sending in an appeal letter similar to the one from the article above, kindly requesting that a court date be avoided and that the matter be dismissed (I really did ask nicely), I was sent a letter telling me what day and time to show up in court (they replied FAST). After Googling the issue, I found enough evidence showing that I didn't have a great shot of convincing the judge that my ticket should be dismissed. I wasn't interested in taking time off from work to go to a court date with dozens of other stubborn speeders in a pissed-off assembly line. So, I paid it. But at least I tried. Lesson learned: P.G. County—less forgiving than the District. Another person might simply stop speeding. But me, I don't find that always practical.

In my opinion, there is no crime where there is no victim. I understand that speeding can be dangerous. But I doubt my $40 or $100 is a fair trade for going 42 in a barren 30 mph zone. It seems to me that having 4 or 5 cars slam on their breaks to avoid getting a ticket is a bit more dangerous than those same cars coolly and alertly riding around at 45 mph. You know, there's enough proof to show that the speed camera business is crooked to begin with—I would say it's our responsibility to challenge systems like this one when possible. If we end up losing, at least we tried.

don't use toothpaste containing fluoride

Dental care is probably something many of us are misinformed about. When I was little, my grandmother told me that she used to brush her teeth as hard as she could to get them as clean as possible. This was before someone told her that she was destroying her enamel. My grandmother isn't crazy. I went on a beach trip with a guy once, and the bristles of his toothbrush looked like hurricane debris. I'm no tooth critic, I barely visit the dentist myself. But one thing I am completely convinced of is the detriment of having fluoride in our tooth care products.

What? Don't dentists use fluoride? Isn't it the main ingredient in like, all toothpastes? Yes. But why? Fluoride does not prevent tooth decay, and ironically can even contribute to the discoloration and disintegration of your teeth. In 2010, the Journal of the American Dental Association published a study showing that fluoride is bad for teeth. Yet, check out Colgate or Crest or Aquafresh and you'll see fluoride just dominating the list of ingredients. I guess fluoride-laden toothpaste is like cigarettes. We tend to conveniently ignore clear warnings of danger in favor of habit, satisfaction or comfort.

Toothpaste is one of those things many people don't stop to think twice about—they just grab the most appealing box or the one on sale or the brand they've been using since childhood. The toothpaste I've been using for a few months now is Tom's Fluoride-Free Botanically Bright Toothpaste in peppermint. Ingredients, as well as their purpose and source, are listed on Tom's website, which also says they produce this toothpaste without fluoride to "respect customers' diverse needs and interests." There are other options as far as fluoride-free toothpastes go, but this one has a consistency and effect that I like and trust. It's $4.49 at Whole Foods, and I think it's well worth the avoidance of poison (did I forget to mention?—fluoride was once used as rat poison).

At least in our society, teeth are a pretty important status symbol. Straight and white seems to be the only way to go. In pursuit of this perfection, be mindful of the products you use.